Pardon the Interruption

A Tribute to Sports Night

I'm on a Sports Night kick. Well, not really. But if I had the complete series on DVD, I would be on a Sports Night kick. I plan on rectifying that matter soon enough. Anyways, one of the brilliant things about IMDB.com is the "memorable quotes" section. Tonight, I stumbled upon a gold mine of Sports Night quote goodness. It's a little long, but it needs to be preserved. Enjoy.

[During a bomb scare]
Casey McCall: Is there anyone who can say anything that will make us feel like the smart thing to do is to stay in this building right now?
Dana Whitaker: In ten minutes, three and a half million people will tune in to watch the two of you on television. Many of them will be women.
Casey McCall: ...All right.
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Isaac: Let me add, Dana, that things I say in my office stay in my office.
Dana Whitaker: Natalie's my, my second in command. She's the only one I told.
Natalie: Jeremy's my boyfriend. He's the only one I told.
Jeremy Goodwin: I told many, many people.
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Jeremy Goodwin: Fire me.
Isaac: What?
Jeremy Goodwin: You heard me, I want you to fire me.
Isaac: I'm not going to fire you.
Jeremy Goodwin: I'm a terrible worker, I'm the last to arrive and the first to leave.
Isaac: You're the first to arrive and the last to leave.
Jeremy Goodwin: And don't you think that's a little strange?
Isaac: Yes.
Jeremy Goodwin: I'm a racist.
Isaac: Jeremy...
Jeremy Goodwin: I am, I'm a terrible racist. I think all those people with the funny accents and weird skin color should go back to wherever they came from and leave this country to the people who rightfully stole it from the Indians... which they deserved.
Isaac: Jeremy...
Jeremy Goodwin: I'm serious, this country is being ruined by the blacks and the Jews.
Isaac: You're Jewish.
Jeremy Goodwin: And I have to be stopped.
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[During the Y2K test]
Dana Whitaker: Jeremy? Jeremy.
Jeremy Goodwin: It's gonna be okay.
Dana Whitaker: Is ALL the power out?
Jeremy Goodwin: What do you mean?
Dana Whitaker: Is all the POWER out?
Jeremy Goodwin: No, of course not.
Dana Whitaker: What'd we lose?
Jeremy Goodwin: We lost the control room.
Dana Whitaker: Yes.
Jeremy Goodwin: And the studio.
Dana Whitaker: Okay.
Jeremy Goodwin: The newsroom and the offices, editing, graphics, engineering, sound.
Dana Whitaker: Is anything working?
Jeremy Goodwin: No.
Dana Whitaker: I thought you said we didn't lose all power.
Jeremy Goodwin: I thought you meant in the whole city.
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Dan Rydell: Is this one of those times when you say you don't want to talk about it, but you really do?
Casey McCall: No, but it's shaping up to be one of those times when I say I don't want to talk about it, but we end up talking about it anyway.
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Dan Rydell: I gotta tell ya, at this point the length of this conversation is way out of proportion to my interest in it.
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Dan Rydell: [on the air] We'll bring you the thrill of victory, the agony of defeat-and, because we've got soccer highlights, the sheer pointlessness of a zero-zero tie. You're watching Sports Night on CSC, so stick around.
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Dan Rydell: You're nineteen feet tall, why are you wearing heels?
Sally Sasser: Do you feel diminutive?
Dan Rydell: No, but now I have to look up that word.
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Sally Sasser: Sam?
Sam: Susie.
Sally Sasser: Sally.
Sam: Okay.
Sally Sasser: This meeting's not going that well is it?
Sam: No. The good news is an hour from now I'm not going to remember who you are.
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Casey McCall: Can we be men for a second?
Dan Rydell: Okay, but just a second.
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Casey McCall: "October the Eighth, Nineteen Hundred and Ninety Eight, A.D." A.D... They're worried I might accidentally show up 2,000 years before the birth of Christ.
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Sam Donovan: You shouldn't think that just because I'm looking at you while you're talking to me, that I'm necessarily listening to or caring about what you're saying. It's just something I do to be polite.
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Natalie: What did you do?
Casey McCall: I did what I do, Natalie. I did what I do.
Dan Rydell: You screwed up your romantic life in front of fifth-graders?
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Casey McCall: What kind of punch was it?
Chuck 'The Cut Man' Kimmel: It was a right hook... with a bit of a jab.
Casey McCall: A jabbing right hook?
Chuck 'The Cut Man' Kimmel: That's right, Casey.
Casey McCall: And he threw it with his left hand?
Chuck 'The Cut Man' Kimmel: This fighter's got remarkable skills, Casey, he's not to be trifled wtih.
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Isaac: Someone holds the copyright to Happy Birthday?
Dan Rydell: The representatives of Mildred and Patty Hill.
Isaac: It took two people to write that song?
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Dan Rydell: You're gonna need to get someone to fix my computer.
Kim: What's wrong with it?
Dan Rydell: It's in several pieces on my floor.
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Dan Rydell: [referring to bombs after a bomb scare] What are the advanced ways they have of detecting these things?
Dana Whitaker: Dan...
Dan Rydell: What are the advanced ways?
Dana Whitaker: [pause] Well, as I understand it, they use dogs.
Dan Rydell: I'm outta here.
Casey McCall: Right behind you.
Dana Whitaker: Oh get ahold of yourselves, would ya?
Casey McCall: Dogs?
Dana Whitaker: Dogs. Yes. Specially-trained dogs.
Dan Rydell: We want to meet them.
Dana Whitaker: Guys...
Dan Rydell: We want to meet the dogs right now.
Dana Whitaker: Okay. And what will you say to the dogs when you meet them?
Dan Rydell: [pause] She's got a decent point.
Casey McCall: Yeah.
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[to assistant U.S. attorney for the Southern district Gordon Gage B.A., M.A., J.D. - aka Dana's boyfriend]
Casey McCall: You know... it really wasn't my intention to discuss any Dana-related matters. No, I was just reading this "New York Times" piece on the forensic evidence, the ballistics match, the eyewitnesses, and the 78 hours worth of wiretaps, a portion of which included the defendant saying, "I killed him. I killed him. I killed him dead"... and was wondering what the heck a fella has to do to get thrown in jail on your watch.
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Casey McCall: Alyson, do you know I speak four languages?
Dan Rydell: You speak three languages.
Casey McCall: I speak four languages.
Dan Rydell: You speak French, Spanish and German.
Casey McCall: I dabble in a little English.
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posted by Taylor @ 7:57 PM